Ever wondered why your child throws a temper tantrum in the store, a restaurant, when picking them up from childcare or anywhere else for that matter? Ever wonder what you could have done so wrong in raising him that every time you go in public he acts out?

You are not alone. Children world wide, go through this stage, some kids more so than others. So, when dealing with the dreaded temper tantrum you will always find your self in good company.

Tantrums occur for many reasons. Younger children use tantrums as a form of communication. Since they can't tell you when they're frustrated, tired and cranky, out of sorts or even feeling bad, they use the only means left to them.

In older children temper tantrum or a way of getting control, asserting power, or a dramatic play for attention. They're kids and they want, what they want, when they want it, no matter how you try to reason with them.

Children get very few choices in their lives; adults are always making decisions for them, hence, the tantrum. Of course this is still no excuse for bad behavior.

Being aware of what causes tantrums in the first place helps parents and care givers to see tantrums in a whole new light. Understanding the intention behind the tantrum makes it more manageable.

Insight is the first step, overcoming and or preventing the temper tantrum is the next step. Helping your child to learn self control is the key to diminishing the tantrums, even infants can learn to sooth themselves.

For a young child, set up a routine (all children need routines). Kids do better when they know what to expect. They need and want this structure. By setting up regular eating and sleeping patterns you will be cutting down on the stress and building healthy habits. You'll notice a change in behavior within days. Add a reading time, and simple chores. Chores are the building block for their future; in school, work and relationships.

I know following a routine may be hard to maintain with your schedule, errands that need to be done, and obligations, start small and build from there. You may find that having a routine is beneficial to you as well.

When you have to take your child with you on errands, take a familiar blanket or toy along for him. Have snacks packed and stored in the car. They'll always be handy when unexpected shopping trips or delays occur. Always remember a tired and hungry baby, is a cranky baby so limit this time if possible.

Older children learn very quickly how to behave in order to get what they want. It's your job to reverse this and stop the tantrums in their tracks. You'll need a plan of action set up in advance. Know what acceptable behavior is for you and your family. Decide how you will act not react to inappropriate activities.

When you have a plan you can avoid the embarrassing moments; your child screaming, whining or throwing objects. Remember keep cool, find words that are clear and to the point. Above all else follow through and be consistent.

You will need to repeat this plan over and over before your child finally gets it.

Example;

Johnny wants candy. You've said no. He starts yelling and crying. Instead of reacting to his tantrum by coxing him, give him a choice.

"You choose. Stop your tantrum now and we'll finish shopping or keep it up we'll leave the store."

Now the decision if his. Even if he doesn't quite understand that he has control, he will learn quick enough that he doesn't always get what he wants even when he acts out.

Follow through if he chooses to continue the tantrum. Very calmly escort him out of the store. You can return to the store once he calms down and realizes you meant what you said. Some children are so used to getting their way that you may have to take him home. Under no circumstances should you give in to his demands. If you do you'll be reinforcing his point of view not yours.

There are many ways of dealing with tantrums; you'll need to find one that works for you. Decide now how you want your child to behave. Remember to take a step away and look at the tantrum objectively and you'll find yourself handling this behavior like a pro. Praising your child is great but don't forget to say thank you once in a while to let him know how much his efforts mean to you.

First and foremost remember you have done absolutely nothing wrong, you did not create the tantrum it's just another developmental stage for your child to learn from.