“No, don’t go.”   Tears start streaming down his face as he reaches across the space between the daycare provider and mom, who reluctantly backs out the door.

Have you experienced a scenario similar to the one above? I know it's hard to leave your child crying. You feel as if you'll impair his development and scar him for life. Guilt becomes a constant companion through out your work day.

In most situations, you drop your little one off, they reach out for you and cry, not wanting you to leave him, but who is really experiencing the anxiety here? Before you have even made it down the block your little one is most likely already involved in some sort of activity. Be it breakfast, playing with the other children or even being carried around by the provider.

For the most part your child is totally occupied, while you on the other hand spend your travel time worrying, fretting and stressing out because your little one will spend the rest of his life with an attachment disorder. You ask yourself if you are doing the right thing, if maybe you should take extra time off work, then you spend the rest of your day biting your fingernails and watching the clock move at a snails pace.

Who is doing all the suffering?

You!

Don’t worry about whether or not you’ve spoiled your child. Don’t worry that you’ve caused major psychological damage. He will be fine and once you take a deep breath, call the provider to reassure yourself, you can relax.

Separation anxiety, on the other hand, is a normal developmental milestone in the infancy through preschool years. Depending on the age of your child you can expect fear, reluctance and some attachment issues in varying degrees. This is a good thing. Be proud, your little one is developing a healthy attachment to those he loves.

We all know children go through different stages in life. Many of the stages will fit in the time frame of the average child. Some will go through a stage earlier, others later, while some may never experience a certain stages at all. Child separation anxiety is just one of the many stages you’ll help your child get through.

If your child is an infant, practice leaving and reappearing. Let your absences increase over time. This is also a great method to use if other stress factors are involved; recent move, change in care, or if you have to be away for a while.